Sunday, October 4, 2009

urgh

again, it's been long time..
three weeks to be exact...
this place has became dull without new posts and new updates...
i really, really don't where to start and how to start from...

maybe i shall start from what come to my mind now.. hmm..
had Biodiversity class test on thursday...
i merely failed... passed just at the borderline... eww~!
and there goes my First Class Honours...
this was not a good news for me...
i will work hard now...
PUSH IT!! PUSH IT!!!
I JUST GOTTA DO BETTER!!

just the night before my class test,
someone instant messaged be at MSN...
this is unexpected and it was good..
i felt better... much better indeed...
but, it brings back many unwanted memories to me..
thank you Jerry gor, you might not helped me much..
but it was good enough already...
maybe, just maybe...
when i got the courage to overcome this, i will contact u all again...
i just wished that ur brother is not in Kuantan..
better yet, not in Malaysia..
i'm sorry, O Lord, for wishing this to happen...
i know it's not right to feel this way...
perhaps this is better for me to endure the unspoken pain i felt inside...
maybe him not leaving is another obstacles that God wants me to overcome...
still, i will heed Your words, O Lord...

just last week.. an unexpected call i have received...
guess who?
it's my ex boss... haha!
so happy that he called me...
it's was really shocking, yet again it was good!
thanks for inviting me out for a drink,
but i'm sorry that i have already back at KL that time...
next time, maybe..
will see u soon, boss...

RAYA BREAK was no good at all...
it's holiday = no holiday
whole week full of reports and assignments!!
the fear is overwhelming...
but thank you Lord, i managed to finish them all in time... hehe...


hmm, i guess that's all in my little head now...
have to get back to Human Bio revision....

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

讨厌

答应了自己不会爱你

也不会去理会你的事了~~

为什么

为什么我就做不到 ! ! !

我很 ! 很愚蠢 !

讨厌我自己 ! !

I HATE MYSELF ! ! !


回来关丹事件好事吗 ? ! ? !

我知道你在这儿公作,
很感谢我没遇到你
我终于知道原因了!
他妈的!
我现在发誓

邱伟德只个人会永远永远从我脑里被删除!!

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

am i happy ?

am i happy ?
well, i guess i am..
but deep down, am i ?

it's been almost a month now
i thank God that when i go back hometown
i never get to see you
not even your family
but i must say, i missed ur family

i'm always scared to go out in crowded places now
scared that i'll see u, or the other way round
you are an evil person!
but i still cant hate u,
for i loved u once
guessed this is why i still can't let go
let go of those memories!

still, i'm happy!
family and friends uphold me
i'm still broken pieces,
still needed time..
time to join those cracks and torns
again, how long do i really, really need?
i pray to God,
"may it be now"

for i have promised myself:
i will be happy and cheerful again!
the old Catherine will return

Sunday, August 16, 2009

true or false ?!?!?!

is it true?
or is it false?
what i saw that day...
i so hope that it is not what i think it is..
but i don't know..
i can't possibly ask what is the truth now...
for now,
i will keep on telling myself this:
i will not waste anymore time thinking of unnecessary things
i will focus on myself
i will love myself